This is what happens when you're with my friends and myself. My stupidity increases exponentially for every one of my close friends that is in the room with me. Or maybe I just sap the intelligence from the room. I haven't figured out which.

Nevertheless, I consistently find myself as the goofy center of attention, the guy most likely to break the silence with a pull-my-finger-esque comment or the sound of my cranium splitting drywall. I never really had any problem with this until recently, when I stopped to analyze exactly what I'm doing to my reputation.

When I was in elementary school, I was the kid who everyone made fun of because I did my homework and I got along with my teachers. In middle school I was a depressed wreck of an intelligent youth. Everyone made fun of BJ, the smart nerd. For God's sake, my best friend and I met when she used to put stickers in my hair and write "I'm A Dickhead" on the back of all my shirts. When I reached high school, I discovered slapstick physical humor and fart jokes and I never looked back. I guess I was always afraid I'd find a "Kick Me" sign Post-It-ed to my ass.

Now, four years post-high-school, I wonder if anyone knows that at one time I was the smartest kid in the class.

A few months ago, my old high school drama teacher was addresing the speech and debate team and he told them I would be coming in to help coach debate as I was a nationally ranked speaker in college. To which someone said, "BJ Garrett? Wow, I always thought he was dumb."

So I find myself at a crossroads. Is it better to be silently underestimated, content in my own private knowledge that I know both Jean-Paul Sartre's views on extistentialism as well as how the typical prostitute responds by seeing my bare ass? Or should I be offended that my friends, people I have known for years, think that I'm just sort of average in the brains department?

Maybe I'm just thinking too much on the matter, but the next time I break forth with a rowdy raspberry in a large crowd, perhaps I should follow it up with a verse of Shakespeare just to illustrate a point. Then again, I don't think I would finish the phrase before I got my nipples pinched off.