I think the bus driver, though approximately 173 years old, was perhaps performing drum solos in his head, because rather than ease on the gas and drive at a comfortable pace, he would jam on the gas for approximately .187 seconds, then release the gas for the same time, and so on and so forth so the bus appeared to have been equipped with hydros. This would explain why the bus driver kept yelling, "Flip that switch!"

Actually, he didn't say anything at all. Even if he did say something, though, I'm not sure I would have been paying attention, because I was too busy gripping the seats in terror. See, this was one of those disgruntled bus drivers that decides to follow large big rig trucks by very short distances, such as 4 inches.

Finally, we arrived in beautiful Cedar City, Utah. At least I'm pretty sure it had the potential to be somewhat beautiful, since it was 2 A.M., and being in a small town in Utah, the only thing awake after 10 PM were those punk kids, the ones who would cross state lines and grab a Coke.

So my point is, it was dark as hell. So dark, and so late, in fact, that the person who was to check our room keys out to us had gone home, so we stayed in the luxurious Southern Utah University student center, where at 7:00 the following morning the building opened to students who wished to walk in and gawk at at thirty strangers in blankets on their lounge couches. But I digress.

The next day, we slept through both plays, and returned home, where due to the wonderful catnaps we had caught during the experiences we were paying for, could not sleep in our rooms. So we were awakened at 8:00 the following morning to watch the technical crew put up a set (AKA move one large piece of furniture in a circle), then fell asleep during our tour and both plays again. The next day, we were able to stay awake, for two reasons, I believe: we got more sleep and we were terrified at stepping back on the bus for the return trip home.

All in all, Utah was a fun experience. I recommend you go. Don't let my bad experience ruin you, I'm sure that with enough crack you could have fun too.

I'm just kidding, of course. Crack is powerless against the boring power of a small town in Utah.